Mad at the Internet
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What it takes to keep a one-man enterprise online when it makes everyone Mad at the Internet.
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Alles In Ordnung

Hello gamers. Behold.

This is the last piece of equipment I need before my special video for Locals: a server chassis for my computer. I want to move the guts from my broken chassis over to it. Trust me, my home project is cool and rewarding to work on.

After that, I would like to return to normal content. I have been diligently trying to assemble my life back in the US. After the better half of a year I have almost finished setting up what is going to be my workstation moving forward. Once I have the last thing I need (a 30 amp electrical receptacle inside my bedroom) I'm all set.

Just on a personal level, I've been feeling particularly overwhelmed. What is frustrating about my life is that, generally speaking, as a person puts work into what they're doing, they start building a stronger foundation that they can assemble more on top of. This is not really the case for me. I feel like I'm building sandcastles. There's a whiny song I sometimes I listen to that captures the feeling - been a fan of it for a very, very long time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwbxgLUg3T0

My podcast hovers at around 3000 live viewers, a bit lower recently, I'm sure in part because I suffer technical issues every episode, but also in part because I have no reach outside of Rumble and Kick. Even when I tried assembling a clip channel, that was brutally demotized for "unoriginal content" despite the content being 100% my own fucking work.

I can't really do much with USIPS because the first thing we'd have to do is develop our own income revenues, because we were denied payment processing by the most common non-profit platforms due to my background. The easy subscription management stuff you see with 501c4s like the GOA has to be hand-written by us.

The Kiwi Farms also hovers at around 4000 active users mid-day. It hasn't fully recovered to pre-DKF levels. At DKF it was mid-covid and we were close to 18,000 daily logins, now we're at about 13,000. That's really rough.

I pour all that effort into keeping the site up, just to sustain it, and that work doesn't really put us in a place that thousands of hours of work would have for any other service. It's really frustrating. You'd have hoped that 13 years into it that you'd not just be treading water and keeping your head above it.

Sorry to whine, I know I have it better than most people right now. What I hope to do moving forward is to delegate more. My head is so scattered and my immediate priority becomes whatever comes in by email, so there are some emails marked unread in my inbox that are 3 months old and I need to get back to.

What I'd like to do is get some volunteers on board for helping the stream by finding funny things to talk about and organizing them. However, despite my role as a forum admin for over a decade, I am an abysmal delegator and I really don't know how to productively incorporate other people into anything I do. Right now I basically have to spend my entire Thursday work day putting together the streams so that by Friday morning I have enough time to get the tabs set up and break the audio again.

Same with the Kiwi Farms. I have a bunch of volunteer applications from December I never went through. Eventually I need someone who can just handle the mundane things I do every morning. A not-insignificant amount of my daily life is spent handling reports and the moderation queue. However, I'm afraid of losing this touchpoint. I end up seeing a lot of new users first posts and sometimes I respond after I approve them, meaning a lot of new users first reply on the site will be from me. I think people like that. It also lets me know what kind of things are driving new registrations to the site, which is useful.

For USIPS we really do need a dev who can progress the financial side of things, but that's hard to do when you can't pay people. I have been waiting for literal weeks for KF check processing. I can't get signed onto that platform because their tech guy is literally Indian and he swears I'm doing something wrong but I have recorded video proving it's a server error. It's very, very frustrating. The owner really wants to help but the Indian can't get me onboarded. If I made enough money to actually compensate people for their time - even if it was an arrangement like 4 people for 1 week of work per month - would be amazing, and that sort of arrangement would also ensure I am only babysitting one person at a time.

On that note I'm very grateful for the Locals people who moved over from Gumroad, and the Rumble team in general, bceause with my basic expenses covered I'm not panicking trying to figure out just my own needs.

I feel like I owe people a lot more improvement in every facet of what I do but at the same time I feel extremely disorganized. There's so much I want to do that it just kind of wears me down. 2025 was supposed to be my year and it's not as much of my year as I hoped for because I'm honestly just not doing enough every day to accomplish what I want to.

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Chudbound 2

Terry Davis died 8 years ago as of yesterday. As per annual tradition, Crunklord420 released a new game on his custom C game engine that natively links to TempleOS.

Thank you for your patience during my break.

00:27:18
[Mangled] Kiwi Casino: Hazbin Hotel Pilot, Gameoverse, Ongezellig

There was an unsalvageable issue with the audio in our recording.

I wanted to record on Arch to save myself having to exit all of my workstation environments to record cartoon commentary for 2 hours, so the audio is fucked. Specifically, the MPV player and PPP have skipping that gets better and worse at random. I was able to isolate and restore the media's audio but the two copies of PPP I had were both broken in different ways. In the future we'll test each individual challenge. I can't re-record a first take so I'm just putting this up as is for free.

Some people will find the audio issue annoying enough that it's unlistenable but some people I showed it to said it was tolerable so I will leave it up to you. Sorry.

02:34:36
Ralph answers the phone

Warning: This is mostly just belligerent yelling. A lot of people thought it was funny but if you don't want to hear a pigmonster yelling for an hour this is not for you, wait for the clips on Friday.

01:00:35

@MadAtTheInternet The people have spoken, it's give them what they want. Suffah Josh, suffah bish.

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August 12, 2026

I've been waiting for you, Mr. Moon.

Semi based catholic take

Thankful and Thunkful (November 30th, 2025)

The Positive Polly Mindset is more of a Positive Polly Grindset. It's not a singular choice, it is an active and ongoing series of choices that are made over such a length of time that they eventually become how you are perceived as opposed to a mood or a phase.

At this moment I am not very Positive Polly. I don't think there is a singular reason for it. I just am not. It is additionally frustrating when you are generally unhappy but you are not unhappy with anything in particular. I cannot point to a specific thorn in my side and say, "this is bothering me and without it I would finally be happy". There are obvious candidates for thorn-removal, but it would not make me happy overall. That's why I say depression is a choice: there's nothing truly weighing me down, so my general misanthropy at this moment can only be characterized as a deliberate effort on my part. Incidentally that further reinforces my mood, knowing that it is something that falls on me to deal with and is not anyone else's responsibility to maintain it.

I think for years there was a hope that if we got over the LFJ/Keffals hump there would be a big breakthrough and all my wildest dreams would come true. That did now happen. I have not yet mentioned this on podcast but we "won", effectively LFJ said on BlueSky that he was done going after the forum except for an occasional doxxxxing where he felt it was warranted, but aggressively pursuing the site is over.

Now that I am a huge winner, it is back to maintaining exactly what I was before the event. I'm not further ahead, I didn't climb a mountain. I reset my footing after a deliberate effort to make us fall. That's it. The bible verse quoted at the bottom of the forum for years now (James 4:7) says "resist the devil, and he will flee from you." It does not say "resist the devil and God will cosign your mortgage". No, for that privilege I owe to you - the reader of this message - and your patronage, which is also frustrating because I owe these community pages a lot of content for their months of support and instead I'm spending weekends eating cheese and writing NCMEC reporting tools. Which is done, by the way. Thank you.

There is an extraordinary amount of work ahead and it cannot be accomplished with a Negative Nancy. If only there was something to help with that.

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The cheese is in, boys.

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Wrångebäck

Sweden! As if it wasn't obvious from the name. Sounds like the type of cheese you'd need an Allen wrench for.

The stinkiest of the three. Supposedly the farm is a dairy farm originally founded by Monks precisely 800 years ago this year, but which abandoned cheesemaking during WW2 in favor of milk. However the current owner has "revived" an "ancient Swedish monk recipe" to try and increase profits. Must be working because I got it somehow.

Raw cow's milk with a washed rind. That's just part of the process during aging. Sometimes they leave it alone (sometimes until the shell is as hard as a rock) and sometimes they wash it with more bacteria or some sort of seasoning. They aged for 14mo and washed it.

I want to say it's a red bacteria because it has a specific odor. You can tell the difference between the red and blue bacteria if you eat enough. A lot of people say that the red is more similar to stinky feet but I really don't like those comparisons because I don't find it appetizing.

They suggest you eat it with salami, which came with. It does go well with salami. It's very pleasant, especially for an aged red. All these cheese have a kind of woody, walnut taste to them which fits the season.

Walden

The soft cheese and also the only one from America, this time from Sequatchie, TN. It was aged only 30 days which is impressive because it has a good flavor. I think they might cheat a bit because it's very salty, but that's fine. I really like salty soft cheeses. It helps with eating them as a snack. This is a single cream soft cheese and it is impressively fatty for not cheating and doing double cream.

The card says it has notes of "buttered white mushroom" which is a bit indulgent for a description. I can't imagine how snobby someone must be to sit down and come up with that kind of description for a cheese. It's gooey and salty and American, really, what more do you want? Basically describes me.

 

Brabander

Show stealer and I am almost convinced I have had this either from an earlier box or in Europe myself. It's from a small company in the south of Holland (Brabant is a region split present-day between b*Lgium and the Netherlands).

I have liked every goat cheese I have gotten. I think if I ended up ever trying to make cheese I would try to make a goat cheese. There was one particular cheese that was a blend, I think of Sheep and Goat, and I remember i fondly as one of the best things I've ever had.

Weird note that this uses vegetarian rennet. I'm sure the process of extracting rennet is horrific and I don't like thinking about it. The main thing keeping me from dedicating myself to making my own cheese is that you have to keep livestock pregnant to get milk and I don't want to dispose of unwanted offspring. It's just not in me. Not my thing.

This cheese is my thing though. If you've never had goat cheese go try it. It's very goat-y but aged cheese loses that a lot. It just becomes really smooth with a complex flavor. Probably because goats eat so much more than grass.

As always thank you very much for your support. It helps so much knowing where my baseline is each month, you can't even imagine how nice it is after years of not knowing shit.

Thank you, and I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving!
Josh


P.S. I super-super-super promise that in December I will 100,00% do something really fun that most people will like. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.

P.P.S. Yes, those cookies are real.

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